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Watch Your Ps and Fs

October 3, 2012 by Oren Pardes

A woman of virtue and valor is worth more than rubies, emeralds, sapphires, or diamonds.

Diamonds are sometimes called a girl’s best friend. Dogs are often considered man’s best friend.
A female dog is called a bitch. So are some women – Because Ibuprofen and Tylenol Can’t Help.

A bitch may also be Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Creative, Honest – a Babe In Total Control of Herself, and a Bright Individual That Can Help, or a Beautiful Itchy Tart Creating Hard-ons.

I wish that I had Jesse’s girl!
Where can I find a woman like that?

A man needs a companion, a mate, a helpmeet (to help meet needs, obligations, and potential).

A woman doesn’t really need a man – but a man needs to feel “needed” (to contribute and make a positive and appreciated difference) – especially by, to, and for a woman, a child, a parent, an animal, an organization, society, or a cause – to have direction, purpose, and meaning in his life.

Female is the default gender of life. Human babies start off female at conception. Testosterone usually turns those with a Y chromosome into males. Having a dick does not mean being one.

A man’s man? A man of God? A man of the People? A man about town? A man after your heart?
A man is, alas, only a man – and sometimes not even that. A “stand-up guy” is not a comedian.

Each morning, Orthodox Jewish men thank God not for not being made woman. What they should instead thank God for was making woman. Without women there would be no babies. The species would die. Without a woman, can a man really be a [complete and fulfilled] man?

Without sex there is no life. Men can have sex with themselves, with other men, with animals, and even inanimate objects – but sex with a woman is more than just about physical pleasure; it is an exchange of energy – and an opportunity to unite, merge, find balance, and become whole.

Some men prefer the love and connection with other men more than women. Some men would rather become and live as a woman than be a man. But it is with the union of male and female together – as distinct and complementary attributes rather than as androgynous entities with no obvious contrast or polarity – that individuals, societies, and species are usually at their best.

One criterion for evaluating the success and status of a man is by the happiness and fulfillment of the (primary) woman in his life. While a man should NOT make any woman the center of his world, he should serve her in every way. Her job is not to lead, but to follow; not to provide, but to receive; not to criticize, but to appreciate, enhance, and improve everything he is, does, offers, by her emphasis on his best and what she likes. A woman need not be “dependent” upon a man – but neither should she make him simply “optional”. If he doesn’t feel “needed”, he may leave.

Three characteristics sometimes deemed desirable to women in Spanish-speaking men are NOT to be Tall, Dark, and Handsome, but to be Feo, Fuerte, y Formal – Ugly, Strong, and Respectful.

There are 3 Fs in English for women seeking (to keep) such a man: Feed, Flatter, and Fuck him.

If she can Find, Fit, and Follow him, then he will probably Protect, Provide for, and Pamper her, as well as her children and any Future Family and Friends. It’s the female who chooses the male.

© 2012 – 2014, Oren Pardes. All rights reserved.


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